Sunday, November 16, 2008

Continued: Top 2 of Top 3 of Top 5 Causes of Current Financial Crisis

2. Politicians:

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This is a continuation of the original article, "Top 5 Causes of Current Financial Crisis."
...AND of this one, "Top 3 of Top 5 Causes of Current Financial Crisis."
...AND, as you can see by the current title of today's blog, the odds of me completing the series today are highly unlikely. If you can't take the suspense, here's the gist of what's to come:

2. Politicians
*picture of Nixon*
Nixon eats babies. No, seriously. Remember the Hindenburg baby? So does Nixon. That's because he ate it in order to satisfy his thirst for new souls.
Other baby-eaters include: Bill Cosby, Bill Clinton, Bill Mauer and Bill O'Rielley. This doesn't make any sense anymore, does it? I need to get more sleep. And a life. And...no, that's it.

1. Poltergeist
*picture of Nixon*
Nixon is a poltergeist. No, seriously. Remember the movie, "Poltergeist?" He's the one who sucked the house into a void...and melted this guy's face. Why am I continuing on even though this blog lacks a single coherent thought? I'm supposed to write one everyday or apparently I won't write one at all (which I am sure would make you all happy).

On an unrelated note, here's this article from cracked.com
If you read the "comments" section at the bottom of the screen, you'll find a lot of people "claiming" to have "asperger's syndrome," the disorder which was parodied in the article as being a "bandwagon" disease that nerds and losers use to justify their virginity. Not only does this prove that people do the very thing that the article claims, but it also proves another, lesser-known disorder known asw "Assburger's Syndrome."

"Yes, you guessed it: I have Assburgers syndrome, or whatever it's called. I like to respond to possibly offensive topics by claiming that I have a personal connection to the topic so as to generate some sort of sympathy towards myself and make everyone else look like s**t-eating a*****e fucks. Other symptoms include:
-People who say "My mom's dead" in response to a "Your mom" comment
-People who say "I have cancer" when someone tells a cancer joke
-People who say "My sister was raped" when you make a joke about the time their sister was raped." -Famous Scientist #12

That's all I am physically capable of coming up with. In conclusion, I guess, here's a guy throwing a puppy off of a cliff. Classic.


And, for some reason, and old lady shooting her red-neck son's machine gun:





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