Saturday, November 15, 2008

Continued: Top 3 of top 5 causes of Financial Crisis

3. The Great Depression

Wow, the rest of the world must look like shit!

Okay, "Great Depression." First of all, what makes you so fucking "Great" in the first place? 25% unemployment? 89% drop in stock values? A 17 per 100,000 person suicide rate (whereas today's rate is 17 per 100,000...oh boy, we're fucked)? Aren't we fucking special. Now every time I try to encite pity from people about how I don't have hardwood floors in my apartment or how my wireless internet stopped working about an hour ago, they point to a $7.50/hour minimum wage, a 6% unemployment rate and something called "food" on my table and a "roof" over my head. Then they tell me to shut the fuck up. Well, Mr. Bigshot, tell me what is the point of a "roof" if I can't drink Starbucks while researching the latest "Sofa/Refridgerator/Masturbation-Device" from Ikea? If we have a problem today, we're just pussies because around 75 years ago things were so bad you'd rather kill yourself than struggle for survive. What total bullshit.

Now this is REAL suffering! Take away my weed and coffee and you might as well shoot me.

Mr. Obama says that this is the "Greatest economic crisis since the Great Depresson." I say that this is the "Greatest economic crisis the universe!" This is America, and if what we do isn't the best than we're not doing it right. I think our generation can ruin an economy just as well as any other. That's right, Grandpa, I am just as irresponsible as you EVER were. Want proof? You'll wish you hadn't:

Editor's note: The reason you wish you hadn't is because I have a life and therefore cannot finish the segment. You are simply left in dismay and with dissapointment. If it is any consolation, I voted for Obama. YOUR WELCOME!!!

Tomorrow, tune-in for:

2. Politicians.

1. SPECIAL GUEST: Houses!!!

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