Monday, February 28, 2011

al-Gadaffi to Libyan People: The Revolution Was MY IDEA. Your welcome.

gaddafi with the people

Greetings cockroaches people of Libya. Yes, it is I, Muammar al-Gaddafi, democratically elected (by 100% of Muammar al-Gadaffes) dictator President of Libya AND hack author of this here Project Julio internet(s).

I ask you, Libyans, why so glum? We are one of the 10 wealthiest oil-producing countries in the world! With that kind of cash, we can afford extravagant luxury items such as limousine-Hummers for President the honorable Muammar al-Gaddafi; all virgin, all-female bodyguards for President the honorable TOTALLY COOL Muammar al-Gaddafi; as well as golden fountains of highly enriched anal lube for President the honorable TOTALLY COOL (and definately NOT Hitler) Muammar al-Gaddafi!

Don’t you see? We are united as one, the people AND Muammar al-Gaddafi. Therefore, what is good for Muammar al-Gaddafi MUST be good for the people.

For instance, referring to Muammar al-Gaddafi in the third person is good for the people. And since al-Gaddafi and the people are one, when I am referring to the people of Libya in the third person, I am also ipso facto referring to myself. Therefore, when I am referring to a revolution of “the people” I am really referring to a revolution of al-Gaddafi. Therefore, al-Gaddafi is revolting against al-Gaddafi!


No, seriously, I think I need a doct—oh mierda, yo ahora hablo espaƱol!!!!


Gorilla Bananas said...

If Gaddafi actually laid an egg, I think he should get a pardon for all his crimes. Miracles of Nature are beyond human justice.

Julio said...

Which came first, the Chicken or the human embryo encased in an external exoskeleton? Being that you're a talking Gorilla, we can't completely rule out this prospective egg-laying theory just yet. Only time, and perhaps a bit of anal lube (approx. 3.4 gallons) will tell.

Static said...

HAhaha! That comment was more hilarious than the post itself!!

Julio said...

;( I knew my post was missing something, but I had no idea it was going to be anal lube!

Julio said...

Post edit: I believe my anal-lube quota has been met for this post. As the old (and very gay) saying goes, "When in doubt, anal lube is always certain."

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