Saturday, February 14, 2009

Shock! Blogging Tutorial

Though it might not sound like it, "Shock! blogging" can sometimes require the diligence and malnourishment of a Tibetan monk. Myself being a tibetan monk, I have taken it upon myself to deliver unto thee the exact procedure required to make a high-quality "Shock!" blog-entry. It goes as follows:

Step 1: Find a Shocking Image which fits the criteria of a "Shock!" image (i.e., is it shocking?).

Step 2: Upload appropriately innapropriate "Shock!" image onto photobucket

Step 3: Select "Re-Mix" sub-menu (http://s212.photobucket.com/albums/cc87/Yourusername/?action=remix)
a. drag an appropriate "NSFW" alert image (gallery) in the first slot of the editor
b. place "blur" effect/transition
c. place innapropriate "Shock! blog" photo entry into slot

Step 4: Paste HTML to your blog to enjoy an appropriately innapropriate Shock! blog. SAFE FOR WORK (SFW) version/NOT SAFE FOR WORK (NSFW) version...link to SFW version: *photo of naked nun* followed by, "hey, douchebag, GET BACK TO WORK YOU LAZY FUCK!!! What the hell's your problem. Why are you looking at this bullshit instead of working. What kind of job do you have? Accountant? "Manager"? Where do you FIND THE TIME??? HOW RUDE!!! If you're not working at work, you DESERVE to be caught viewing a website that features fetal-incest porn ("Now with 100% more violence!"). Being that this is such a website, I suggest you hand-in your retirement now. ON THE DOUBLE!!!"). What, did you think that you were reading a parenthetical just now? Jackass; there was never an open parenthesis to begin with...how can you live with yourself?

Examples:



1. Jesus riding a dinosaur (appropriate) followed by what appears to be Satan kicking Zeus's ASS (Shock!)!

Though I admittedly believe I should switch the captions of the Jesus photo and put those on the Zeus/Chronos photo, and vice-versa. Or I could be lazy and NOT do that. I'm going with the latter.

1 comment:

~Static~ said...

Good tutorial.
I'm not all that shocked that people would need a tutorial to learn how to Shock! blog.

Perhaps we will see a rise in the number of Shock! blogging in the immediate future?

As for me...have to get back to Shockin My Nipples with a Car Battery. See ya!

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