Monday, June 15, 2009

Too Soon? 9/11, dead babies and Nazi's (+ Ann Coulter, Obviously).

A "day in the life" of Ann Coulter...scary.

Ann Coulter. Who or what is Ann Coulter, other than the first thing that comes to mind when you think of 9/11, dead babies and Nazis simultaneously? As a "Conservative" and "columnist", Coulter continues to falsely depict ALL Republicans as angry, insane and illogical beings who use fear mongering, insults and baseless conspiracy theories to support their beliefs instead of providing reliable evidence (of which there is usually none). I understand that this may a lot of information to take in, so in the text below, I have translated this well thought out and properly cited analysis into a baseless, emotionally charged and metaphorical rant for you, my "Thinking Impaired" readers (i.e., average Americans).

No additional joke required; this is an actual book devoted to hating Ann Coulter...Awesome!

Washington D.C., USA - Ann Coulter's vagina. That's about the worst thing anyone could possibly imagine. Logically, then, 9/11, dead babies and Nazi's should be at least somewhat related to Ann Coulter's vagina, but could they be fundamentally linked? To the surprise of many, a recent gyneclolgical study has found that 9/11, dead babies, Nazis not only exist WITHIN Ann Coulter's vagina, but may have in fact been CREATED there!

First Contact: In Ann Coulter's vagina, researches discover the first of many demonic creatres once thought
to be fictional characters of ancient folk-lore

Scientists became interested in the "UnIntelligent Design" theory regarding the creation of 9/11, Nazis and dead babies after Ann Coulter submitted a series of deliberately absurd, offensive and callous contributions to American political debate.

Particularly intriguing was Coulter's attack on widows of those killed in the 9/11 terrorist attacks, "I've never seen people enjoying their husbands' deaths so much," said Coulter, "How do we know their husbands werne't planning to divorce these harpies?"

CNN through the eyes of Ann Coulter

"The truth is, we don't know," said Head Researcher Gilbert Flagram, "but the catch 22 is that the husbands in question are dead, thereby impossible to interview. Though possible, there is not a single shred of evidence nor absolutely any reason whatsoever to believe that their marriages were anything less than healthy." Flagram explained that to create such a random and baseless rumor about widows of the single most deadly terrorist act in U.S. history requires more than huge BALLS (which are themselves rumored to also exist within Coulter's vagina). That's when researches decided to test the theory of whether in fact "evil incarnate" was itself birthed through the wretched vaginal walls of Ann Coulter.

Actual "Vortex-of-Pure-Evil" discovered in the Nether-regions of Ann Coulter


~Static~ said...

***Stands on soapbox - takes self-righteous attitude and pretentious yet nasal-like tone***

"Y'know, if you had actually read the book and spent some time in Ann Coulter's vagina, and/or colon, you might have something informative to say instead of them wise cracks playing on uniformed stereotypes of Ann Coulter's vagina."

My agitation,short-attention span, and verbal diarrhea continues,

"You claim innocence in the notion that you've never been in Ann Coulter's vagina, it's so obvious that you are just capitalizing on Ann Coulter's famous vagina. But the major fallacy of her vagina is that none of it is funny."


Julio said...

I knows! I'm just satiring Ann Coulter's vagina to educate the public of the larger problem associated with the pure evil that it produces. I should backlink this to Ann Coulter's blog to show her my point of view (i.e., that her vagina produces Hitler clones).

~Static~ said...

I think Coulter's vagina was Hitler's inspiration.

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