Monday, July 13, 2015

"Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens" Screenplay Leaked

I know most of us, young or old, are excited about the upcoming Star Wars sequel "Star Wars: The Force Awakens!" For those of you who just can't wait for it to come out in theaters (December 18, only a Jedi can wait that long!) I have BREAKING NEWS: The screenplay for "Star Wars: Episode VII" has been LEAKED, and is available online! Or at least it was. It was originally leaked on Reddit, but Disney filed a court order and had it removed. Luckily, I was able to read it some of it before it was taken down. The following is the synopsis of the intervening events between the end of "Star Wars: Episode VI" and the beginning of "Episode VII." And I warn you, the direction this new film takes is shocking.


As we all know, "The Empire" fell. What we didn't know, however, was that, though freedom and democracy were returned to the galaxy, the unintended consequences of transitioning from a Dictatorship to a Democracy resulted in catastrophes far worse than anything Emperor Palpatine could have planned himself. The Empire was actually better than the Republic, at least in the eyes of the people. The galaxy, ruled by two genius master Sith Lords, brought about huge economic and social progress to the galaxy. The militarization that had begun during "The Clone Wars" was expanded during the rise of the Empire, bringing both purpose and wealth even the most beleaguered, inhospitable planets.

It turns out the death of Vader and the Emperor did not bring "New Hope" to the galaxy. Far from it. Their deaths, and the subsequent destruction of the new Death Star, rippled through the stock market, causing prices to plummet. Though it was referred to as the "Death Star" by the "rebels," most citizens of the galaxy called it the "Life Moon" because it was marketed as a "Leviathan" capable of bringing about "an end to all wars." The Emperor planned on gradually decommissioning or prepurposing all military equipment and relying completely on the "Life Moon" to enforce peace and order in the galaxy. The ability to destroy planets was the equivalent of a nuclear deterrent, but on a much grander scale. This unprecedented time of peace and prosperity came at the expense of political freedom. However, considering how successful the Emperor was at ruling the galaxy, it was a tradeoff a vast majority of the galaxy was willing to pay. 

Not only was the Life Moon a peacemaking juggernaut, it was also an economic powerhouse. Housed at the center was a tremendous nuclear fusion power plant. It was not just a weapon, however. It also had the capacity to provide clean, renewable energy to the entire galaxy. Using microwaves, it could literally "beam down" enough energy to last any planet 100 years in mere seconds. Literally trillions of dollars were invested in the moon-sized military base (the majority of which was private investment capital), and though it was insured, the insurance company did not have the capital to pay back investors. This caused a domino effect which ultimately caused the greatest financial crisis in the history of the Galaxy, a "Great Depression" if you will. The crisis resulted in forcing trillions of citizens out of work. The lack of a gradual transition from a militarized economy then led to massive hyperinflation. Highly trained engineers, now out of a job, can't find work because of an absence of a uniform military-to-domestic education and experience transfer. Now unemployed, these former soldiers commandeered much of the Empire's military equipment and formed a system of warlords who began to fight each other for control of resources. Was the Empire gone? Yes. But not only was Luke unable to enforce his idealistic democracy, he had also unwittingly created a civil war that continued into the events which are to take place during Episode VII.

Meanwhile, Luke is branded a "terrorist" and is forced into hiding. Far from being a "liberator," Luke single handedly (pun intended) ruined the reputation of the Jedi as "peacekeepers" and instead they are now called "Sowers of Chaos." However, as much as he is hated, he is also the only one with the power to restore balance to the Galaxy. He created this mess, the logic was, so too would he have to clean it up. He was pardoned for his crimes against the galaxy only on the condition that he lead the newly formed "Galactic Forces" to end the Feudal society he unintentionally created and create a new Galactic Senate.  The movie begins with Luke leading an elite team of newly trained Jedi to take out the most powerful warlord in the galaxy named "Jibba the Hut," cousin of "Jabba the Hut" whom Princess Leia kills in Episode VI. 

Sorry...but that's all folks! This is all I was able to read before I had to hand over the computer to my wife to pay the electric bill. When I returned, the post was no longer there and I was left with more questions than answers! But this is better than nothing, isn't it?

1 comment:

Static said...

Fuck me. This story sounds sooo familiar, but I just can't put my finger on it. I can't wait to see how it ends. Probably universal annihilation via climate change, drought, famine, disease, wars, and long trailer advertisements at the theater.

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