I've been crying into a pile of crusty tissues because of my utterly incapacitating fear of asking a girl out on a date.
Now you might be asking yourself, "he has such a good personality, so what is he so afraid of," or, "maybe he really IS that fat guy in the picture" OR "why EXACTLY are those tissues crusty?"
Fortunately for you, all of these questions, and more, are answered in my newest memoir, "How my rendition of 'children are our future' resulted in criminal charges which prevent me from being within 50 ft of a school, a school bus stop or a child lost in Walmart who needs help finding his mother and is willing to trust ANYONE, even a convicted "Sex Offender."
6 comments:
Bravo! And..you're fired!
Shit...I knew one day someone would fire me, despite having any actual authority or capacity to do so...are you by any chance hiring still?
Yes. I am looking to fill a fluffer position in a homemade porno. Interested?
INTERESTED?! THIS IS A DREAM CUM TRUE!
Where the hell have you been all my al-fucking life?!
I've been crying into a pile of crusty tissues because of my utterly incapacitating fear of asking a girl out on a date.
Now you might be asking yourself, "he has such a good personality, so what is he so afraid of," or, "maybe he really IS that fat guy in the picture" OR "why EXACTLY are those tissues crusty?"
Fortunately for you, all of these questions, and more, are answered in my newest memoir, "How my rendition of 'children are our future' resulted in criminal charges which prevent me from being within 50 ft of a school, a school bus stop or a child lost in Walmart who needs help finding his mother and is willing to trust ANYONE, even a convicted "Sex Offender."
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