25 Reasons Why Being Rich is Totally Awesome!

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Paula Deen Apologizes for Apologizing Apology

Oh my, gosh. Thank God they said it was a spoof.

I don't know about you, but I think this apology needed more butter.




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One Size Fits All

I’m so postmodern I quote myself in conversations and say things like "Wow, multiculturalism has become so hegemonic!"


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ADOPT MY PUPPIES ... BAD WEATHER HERE

GOOD DAY,

HOW ARE YOU DOING ? HOPE FINE.

MY NAME IS REV.BARRY GLITHER, I, MY WIFE AND 3 KIDS ARE ON A CHRISTIAN MISSION IN AFRICA.

WE HAVE SPENT BARELY ONE WEEK HERE.WE CAME ALONG WITH MY 2 YORKSHIRE TERRIER BABIES. (BOTH ARE FEW WEEKS OLD), AFTER A WHILE WE NOTICED THAT
THE AFRICAN WEATHER IS NOT GOOD FOR THEIR HEALTH AND I HAVE NOT BEEN ABLE TO TAKE GOOD CARE OF THEM THE WAY I ALWAYS DO BECAUSE OF MY JOB.

THEY ARE AKC HOME RAISED, HOUSE AND POTTY TRAINED, VACINES & HEALTH GUARANTEE. I NEED SOMEONE TO ADOPT BOTH AND TAKE CARE OF THEM THE WAY I ALWAYS DO.

IF YOU CAN TAKE GOOD CARE OF THEM, DO SEND A REPLY AND I WILL EMAIL YOU WITH MORE INFO.

P/S: PROVIDE A CONTACT PHONE NUMBER FOR FURTHER COMMUNICATION.

I HOPE TO READ FROM YOU.

GOD BLESS YOU.

REV. BARRY GLITHER
barryglither@xxxxxx.xxx.xx

___________________________________________________________

Dear Barry,


We would be happy to take dog off hands. We love puppies, they are so tender and tasty at a young age. We promise to play with them and give them a happy life. We send you money now. Please send us your puppies as soon as possible.


Thank you,

Chang Shiu Chuik
#1xx-xxxx-xxxx

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Chick-fil-A Reconsiders Stance on Gay-Marriage

Despite a single record-setting day in sales on 'Chick-fil-A Appreciation Day', Chick-fil-A has recently announced it's decision to reconsider gay marriage. As a way to celebrate it's acceptance of sexual orientation diversity the fast food restaurant chain is promoting their newest incarnation the "Gay Chicken Sandwich" for a limited time.

Chick-fil-A spokesperson, Dick "Butch" Buttkiss (not related to the former NFL player and all around celebrity), stated that the sandwiches are made from 100% gay chickens. "As a sign of solidarity with the gay and lesbian community, Chick-fil-A is offering this new product in the hopes of showing how sorry we are for offending those individuals. Chick-fil-A has also agreed to stop funding antigay groups. We are also proud to say that Chick-fil-A is for any union that makes people happy, even if it means the joining of man and chicken."

"Honestly, we here at Chick-fil-A hope that gays and lesbians will reconsider their boycott on Chick-fil-A and become our customers once again. Frankly, our sales have plummeted since 'Chick-fil-A Appreciation Day' so we created a new campaign, 'Gay Chicken Appreciation Day'."

When questioned about the authenticity of the Gay Chicken Sandwich being made from gay chickens, Buttkiss had this to say, "We have ensured through a two-step process that the chickens harvested for this new sandwich ARE indeed gay. The first step is watching HOW the chicken (or rooster) interacts with other members of it's own species -- do they have a natural attraction to same-sex members and so forth. Secondly, we lock them in a cage together with a same-sex member of it's own species for an extended period of time and then they are forced to fornicate with one another during their traditional mating season. This is how we know these chickens have gone gay."

When told that this was absolutely ridiculous reasoning, Buttkiss responded, "Look, as part of this promotion we are also including a limited time offering of same-sex sexual intercourse with ANY one of our employees at any Chick-fil-A restaurant location. Former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee has even offered to give blowjobs and/or rimjobs to the first 1,000 customers. If that doesn't show Chick-fil-A's support of the gay and lesbian community then I don't know what does."

Buttkiss continued, "Hey, I bet you didn't know Elvis called us from the moon and said that HE'S gay and he loves our Gay Chicken Sandwich. He claims it's how he keeps his girlish figure."

Celebrity Endorsement Alert!

"The Colonel's secret recipe doesn't even taste this good." - Elvis

"Hurry down! This offer ends when the aliens come to destroy our planet on December 21st this year," Buttkiss added.



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