7.017 Billion Monkeys Can't Stop The Bloodshed

What kind of world do we live in where a 25-year-old Liberian refugee in the Marine Corps is killed in action in Afghanistan fighting for an elitist unsustainable American cause?

What kind of world do we live in where BLOOD is an EQUAL exchange for OIL?

What kind of world do we live in where being heroic (being made a man out of - or having a dream) involves killing or being killed?

What kind of world do we live in where life is not honored, and DEATH is glorified over recognition for LIVING A FULL LIFE and giving unto others as opposed to being taken away and never having the chance to do better?

What kind of a world do we live in that allows a man to die for these stupid reasons without saying goodbye to his wife and 18-month-old baby?

What kind of a world do we live in that we can just ignore these facts?

Does that seem like a fair and reasonable trade-off to you?

If so, then there is something REALLY fucking wrong with you.

Source: personal experience and THIS::



"Our real enemies are not those living in a distant land whose names or policies we don't understand; The real enemy is a system that wages war when it's profitable, the CEOs who lay us off our jobs when it's profitable, the Insurance Companies who deny us Health care when it's profitable, the Banks who take away our homes when it's profitable. Our enemies are not several hundred thousand miles away. They are right here in front of us." - Mike Prysner

And THIS:



"Our founding fathers told us, George Carlin and Bill Hicks told us, Presidents have told us, Generals have told us, and we're telling you. Wake Up." -- Occupy Marine Corps

Please Support the Veterans at: http://www.ivaw.org/ Also visit www.antiwar.com

The name of the track used is Boards of Canada -Davyan Cowboy Speech Transcript: http://dotsub.com/view/749fb533-dad3-4105-a56e-565e3f6d0972/viewTranscript/eng

Watch with Spanish sub titles Asombroso discurso de un Veterano SUBTITULADO ESPAÑOL DISCURSO DE MIKE PRYSNER indicando quienes son el enemigo verdadero de su pais. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9kWU-JHetMM

Semper Fi, brothers and sisters.

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5,000,000,000,000 Monkeys Couldn't Fix Massachusett's Public School Phys Ed Program

Hey, everybody. What do you get when you cross a monkey with a school board official? I don't know, but I bet it smells like a sack of primate shit.

School bake sales are now being banned in Massachusetts, by the same geniuses that proposed physical education cutbacks due to budget crunches. Most districts scaled back or eliminated their phys ed programs amidst a "public health crisis" of obese and overweight children in Mass. public schools. So the logical decision of course is to eliminate food bake sales where those fat kids could really clean up.

Because, you know, it's not like they're partly getting overweight from a lack of physical activity or anything... :|

Oh, I know! Why not CUT the school lunch program too?

And while you're at it, you MAss-holes should take a note from Newt Gingrich's book and make those thickset lazy students do janitorial work at their schools; scrubbing floors with a toothbrush and scraping vomit off the bathroom ceilings. It will help burn off some of the whalelike blubber you morons helped to distribute.

You might as well install a Nike factory in the school too and turn the fucking place into a sweat shop -- you can make the kids work off the district's taxes in "sweat equity" thereby releasing the parents of any obligation to your "budgets," you silly fucks.

Yeah, I know. And we're the ones who are crazy. :)

Julio's Note: Here's a video of a lecture by a brilliant education policy maker who describes this idea in more detail




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500 Trained Monkeys Couldn't Fix Google's Internal Server Error

So, I'm just surfing YouTube videos the other day, looking for some new Japanese lesbians kissing / Pokemon / animal porn when all of a sudden the damn thing stops working and I get this error.

500 Internal Server Error

Sorry, something went wrong.

A team of highly trained monkeys has been dispatched to deal with this situation.
If you see them, show them this information:

EqrKKOQYsCU5MvDU607WRNRkHwiIW7cXU34MJLtg1dkntxDb5AUr24TeX55g
CSZWkEY3Nfr9qZ5NsyGSYBXJ2SFsbY8zkjxB0STGPlvasCjKauNCTISmDbsx
5DQmcZb60bGDo4JMza8dNSvawqBvUSc7bts1qj824CrJfq16ZPFv6Xgo7ikS
1VKKTTB_g9dWZ9NODAK5mZoumPyj0MOdjT1q8NV0Z4W_klIRD8oXHjPysUKC
OgCL6TjI3qdIQMsWEGZt11Nam1tfgiKovVH1JFjwjvtlVSMtwGDw_KemkdqT
zDaEZBAZpPkZ79O7m8iXv7qrPNzT_9DddC-046TmMwk3Pnaba07FQJuRzpve
xfgAzTypNYVOVGJDD7UARO_oM16tiJ-RLrSXN9fmetnEmo6_MrMqSoyc7sB7
LbL_Uld37X3GjR5IWUaKU36GCSAebHxwkuWD-_Jo9qCKQn7DoOTdJAmM0b2D
xwbrvAtRkNfisoSDhRctRdRqe6i61A5jt5kCZTWxOHsYFB4yZNn1WCz9saYN
JXZfDkEzJ3nlKH4VnhkrWzXj1oqUW7OhsIYjlmOQQCVr2G-C78Z0NUi_GA-e
_COY05JR5Ky18oSJ0iD8NpoHHwsyst4py3GqjoipgY6jpwrPCeNNI1NTlm9b
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72S1y_dCl6arHOC5Cmd43-EY-ErX8ghjfwCx03WyL4FyI6YUBO_Oux36NVPy
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ZeXmymM4pyLavHQe-9D_OhchlU2ldcA6ikixsFLysHoPM1mWnmJSbwpJdaGN
7jdOq6FvBGJIA3AvCgdM_4bW-R7LEqoPcsTyN2JOFJIZDVv99f1LvEbisfNd
MZjkSLCnijfSpcRlqKFUU5NqTKpeeJkHs4_E5dhRHr25zSQxLivU-nN-MnAC
lnQaHUDPeReJuR_YscisXphuO9isNx1GsmQSf-WdYnT4_0fiQwV__pPHfclU
ymZ_cq053yP_d0qz4kIdA9I2y-_vPPlmvYlW6U5Zr2eKcpMB9TCjLzCa4mpN
Mj-gCOfSpL0h_O0KCJA-Sf-J9ZeO-2Nph9mI-WISq8cpwEu_oygCU6MHP5rw
PBcftQdjwcpam9MDN1n2Gw1D9ENYpIic-9dHjlGH3Jqc1ElUpyNIDqQQNBii
bq8f7NlLj8UxNMDopp-sGiMEbPQUwbmX2xOKCyBqCNj1mNMz8SoQ0P0PGUKx
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3UU5QTJ1LI3TLVFBYIyX7UfDZ2c-z4VkPcGoG5J-H-d2P9hFvwdWO6-G9pkl
k-v55sc9qdG23ycvoxkjr4Ey7Ry_ZyuHe756S3NwN9-NlUhThZCizdByl6XR
dd7yyJWJMGQmeRlSZ3NbOeOa7GL3-mtxSMsGL2chHxRsE27hWFmT06RSWiCi
eqehZ1vxlrc=

? ? ? ? ? ? ?
WTF!? Um...okay. Goddammit. Thanks a million, Google!

It appears that this is a simple case of sodomy.

I was in deep Google...or perhaps Google was deep in me. Not enjoyable either way. Google done surprised me with teh buttsecks!

Have YOU seen Google's "highly trained" monkeys? I don't know about you, but I don't think that there was any training involved.

It might just take a team of highly trained monkeys to decipher that clusterfuck of an error code. But I think we're gonna need more monkeys. Next!




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"Hero Hitler in Love" Post-Release Mind-Fuck!

"Hero Hitler in Love" has finally been released in India, where apparently Holocaust denial is as common as child sex trafficking and tainted pharmaceuticals.

Surprisingly, not everyone is happy with the words "Hero" and "Hitler" being combined into a single noun phrase.

~Static~ (@ Rotten Potatoes and/or Krapsody.com) had this to say:

"I don't know what Hitler has to do with this movie. [...] Some people in India are fascinated with Hitler...and the belief that he had a hand in India's independence from Britain. But I think Gandhi, who considered British imperialism and Nazism to be similar to one another, is rolling over in his grave. While Hitler is probably wondering why he's being jabbed with a pitchfork and is not in the movie."

Since there's only room for one Satan in hell, Hitler is probably too busy jabbing others with a pitchfork to notice this "Hero Hitler in Love" epic pile of crap.

Hero Hitler...in Love?

www.herohitlerinlove.com is probably the most incredible gift to comedy since Isaac Newton invented eating turds. "Bollywood," the "Hollywood" of India, has turned out ingeniously perverse versions of Western film and culture, most notably "Superman and Spidergirl." In India, the "man of steel" can't reverse the rotation of the Earth and thereby turn back time...however, he CAN "sky-dance."

This time India has topped itself, and in doing so, topped the entire concept of perverse and offensive cinema worldwide. "Springtime for Hitler," a satirically offensive song in Mel Brooks' "The Producers," was comedic in that it was meant to be an example of the worst-possible musical ever made. Obviously, he was wrong. I'm afraid my wit is incapable of enhancing the humor of what is clearly the most absurd film ever made.

*The following Synopsis of the film is verbatim and not altered in any way. Seriously.*

‎"Hero Hitler in love" revolves around Hitler (Babbu Maan) who lives in his village Ishqpura. Hitler is a man with unique and different thoughts who loves his fellow villagers and helps them unite with their soul mates [Cupid-Hitler?]. Hitler falls in love with Sahiban (Mouni Roy) who lives in Pakistan and decides to bring her to his village. Hitler believes in solving the problems by talking about them, but when something crosses the line he decides to become "real Adolf Hitler" [wtf?]. Hitler loves car racing [WTF?] but when he is set up to fail in the Asian car racing competition [???] he decides to take revenge. The story shapes how Hitler takes his revenge and fights to win his girl and reunite both nations...[WTF?!?!?!?!] http://www.herohitlerinlove.com/

Update: OFFICIAL 2012 TRAILER. Also...HITLER FUCKING KNOWS KUNG-FU!

Nyan Cat Makes Everything Better

So...Nyan Cat did do it?! We have proof now!!



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Politically Incoherent Edition 1: Trump's logic trumps [actual] logic

There Goes the Neighborhood...

Just 24-hours after President Obama's Inauguration, 16 homes were put up for sale

     Washington D.C. --- Whilst President Barack Obama is enjoying his first days in the White House, nearby home prices fell by as much as 50 percent. "There goes the neighborh..." said one resident, who stopped mid-sentence when he realized I was holding a microphone. "My best friend is black," said the elderly white gentleman who failed to identify himself. He then abruptly locked himself in his 3456 Pennsylvania Ave. estate while singing the National Anthem (of Canada, for some reason) and using a "White Power" bracelet to conceal his Swastika tattoo. "It's a temporary tattoo...I found it in a box of Cracker-Jacks," he later admitted after I threatened to call fellow black reporter Todd "BLACK-LIGHTNING" Token to the scene. 

   A "Cracker-Jacks" Spokesman known only as "Leeroy" claims that the tattoo did not come from "Cracker-Jacks." Instead, it belongs to its father company "N*****-Jacks," which had first opened during the late 1950's. "It was a different time," said Leeroy, "Being openly racist was the cool thing to do. Then, after that darn Civil Rights movement, we were all forced to be racist in the privacy of our own homes, community centers, discriminatory hiring practices, inflated interest rates, college admittance and, of course, Klan meetings.The nerve! What has happened to this great country?"

As it turns out, racism is a "bad" thing and should not be tolerated. Nor should it be given access to public media,such as this website, to spread their message of hate. Afterwards, I conducted a 30-minute interview with several racist homebuyers and property-value appraisers that was broadcasted, live, throughout the entire country...I'm fired,aren't I? In that case, I am not obligated to finish this story, though I am obligated to say that I am a registered sex offender and cannot not reside within 600 feet of a school, playground or PTA meeting.

Julio's Note: (this has been a re-post of one of my all-time best satire pieces originally written in 2009. Hope you enjoyed!)

Nothing Smells Quite as Good as Vulva (Courtesy of Krapsody.com)

source: Regretsy






Don't say we've never done anything for you at Project Julio.

~Static

posted from my iPhone at Pussy, 73260 La Léchère, France

Static Krapsody - the place to find out of the ordinary humor the Land of Arse USA

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