Sunday, February 26, 2012

500 Trained Monkeys Couldn't Fix Google's Internal Server Error

So, I'm just surfing YouTube videos the other day, looking for some new Japanese lesbians kissing / Pokemon / animal porn when all of a sudden the damn thing stops working and I get this error.

500 Internal Server Error

Sorry, something went wrong.

A team of highly trained monkeys has been dispatched to deal with this situation.
If you see them, show them this information:

EqrKKOQYsCU5MvDU607WRNRkHwiIW7cXU34MJLtg1dkntxDb5AUr24TeX55g
CSZWkEY3Nfr9qZ5NsyGSYBXJ2SFsbY8zkjxB0STGPlvasCjKauNCTISmDbsx
5DQmcZb60bGDo4JMza8dNSvawqBvUSc7bts1qj824CrJfq16ZPFv6Xgo7ikS
1VKKTTB_g9dWZ9NODAK5mZoumPyj0MOdjT1q8NV0Z4W_klIRD8oXHjPysUKC
OgCL6TjI3qdIQMsWEGZt11Nam1tfgiKovVH1JFjwjvtlVSMtwGDw_KemkdqT
zDaEZBAZpPkZ79O7m8iXv7qrPNzT_9DddC-046TmMwk3Pnaba07FQJuRzpve
xfgAzTypNYVOVGJDD7UARO_oM16tiJ-RLrSXN9fmetnEmo6_MrMqSoyc7sB7
LbL_Uld37X3GjR5IWUaKU36GCSAebHxwkuWD-_Jo9qCKQn7DoOTdJAmM0b2D
xwbrvAtRkNfisoSDhRctRdRqe6i61A5jt5kCZTWxOHsYFB4yZNn1WCz9saYN
JXZfDkEzJ3nlKH4VnhkrWzXj1oqUW7OhsIYjlmOQQCVr2G-C78Z0NUi_GA-e
_COY05JR5Ky18oSJ0iD8NpoHHwsyst4py3GqjoipgY6jpwrPCeNNI1NTlm9b
oGDku9L95PXfdlwc_q2bJX2gfIVrSeaCwBPyKZVIGMBNlwvEnVSbqKypXIM1
5xMq6Pd1w3LCW5hyIz88VaQhgkhjaLCYAcvgQqVINB0XT57WioAGIMUSHkrS
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ixqj9qaOr4VQoRhXXHPDzXoSymEhpZDoz9eJLzZ3ZI27HCV7EIP2QdjE_buZ
KOxTTgbecclg7eEGVwaGdshpUMFpgTEt6rJXMXvgsW_LyhxafM59Q9Y1Of-k
aInZyv2namWlsQrHIVcAs5xHsq4y9gaSwrr9QtXfzJafO_c38-zdGlf0baHX
tKhD7BJpw7-PF9IWXVfikrZNRz4C6ANS39TDbsD25kV8qehNdtOv99XVeSfP
yHZ0vS0xtI7Xuo2Rs0QsIsD1h8O1zxewEPhFbVl-S_emRtnsXp1TQyvnQpPC
72S1y_dCl6arHOC5Cmd43-EY-ErX8ghjfwCx03WyL4FyI6YUBO_Oux36NVPy
1T0xR1bih7mGN7FtCGCLo_GCnvfkNPjPXRUPEfoEDtMWGZwS9b-dVw22LjFx
p6H7mAtrDG_-fJQidiudE2VVtQSfDSJbxvHASHBf3yWoumOEsY5eab3Qh0xy
7HJf6f4uIJg7KTRHHSt3hQXhZEBEnO4Jxz_ptmKH9wO7kngaxfI5LSeQjoNi
ZeXmymM4pyLavHQe-9D_OhchlU2ldcA6ikixsFLysHoPM1mWnmJSbwpJdaGN
7jdOq6FvBGJIA3AvCgdM_4bW-R7LEqoPcsTyN2JOFJIZDVv99f1LvEbisfNd
MZjkSLCnijfSpcRlqKFUU5NqTKpeeJkHs4_E5dhRHr25zSQxLivU-nN-MnAC
lnQaHUDPeReJuR_YscisXphuO9isNx1GsmQSf-WdYnT4_0fiQwV__pPHfclU
ymZ_cq053yP_d0qz4kIdA9I2y-_vPPlmvYlW6U5Zr2eKcpMB9TCjLzCa4mpN
Mj-gCOfSpL0h_O0KCJA-Sf-J9ZeO-2Nph9mI-WISq8cpwEu_oygCU6MHP5rw
PBcftQdjwcpam9MDN1n2Gw1D9ENYpIic-9dHjlGH3Jqc1ElUpyNIDqQQNBii
bq8f7NlLj8UxNMDopp-sGiMEbPQUwbmX2xOKCyBqCNj1mNMz8SoQ0P0PGUKx
i9PPIXBvj7W_FkDPO9dZq9JS7uEZ7Rc3TIAVs82w8ieT28OYZQkUFZyt_ldB
K2lNiC-_wRKO79mK44CWcPJXmBNmgyI6rsURdM0NuCeDh5LhX5T6X_ucS6UW
buAWPZx6gSJ1OyJ2tTMByDQbhL73JM-KTTnbtmC6hsHng4r5BglK0BrSDwez
i9bFLtiK8DDFInMnncUWsbDHdBAFSgpTrH9Tgbq_K4-OqTYsAGNHaJBVdc6p
3UU5QTJ1LI3TLVFBYIyX7UfDZ2c-z4VkPcGoG5J-H-d2P9hFvwdWO6-G9pkl
k-v55sc9qdG23ycvoxkjr4Ey7Ry_ZyuHe756S3NwN9-NlUhThZCizdByl6XR
dd7yyJWJMGQmeRlSZ3NbOeOa7GL3-mtxSMsGL2chHxRsE27hWFmT06RSWiCi
eqehZ1vxlrc=

? ? ? ? ? ? ?
WTF!? Um...okay. Goddammit. Thanks a million, Google!

It appears that this is a simple case of sodomy.

I was in deep Google...or perhaps Google was deep in me. Not enjoyable either way. Google done surprised me with teh buttsecks!

Have YOU seen Google's "highly trained" monkeys? I don't know about you, but I don't think that there was any training involved.

It might just take a team of highly trained monkeys to decipher that clusterfuck of an error code. But I think we're gonna need more monkeys. Next!




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Static
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the Land of Arse
USA
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Monday, January 30, 2012

"Hero Hitler in Love" Post-Release Mind-Fuck!



"Hero Hitler in Love" has finally been released in India, where apparently Holocaust denial is as common as child sex trafficking and tainted pharmaceuticals.

Surprisingly, not everyone is happy with the words "Hero" and "Hitler" being combined into a single noun phrase.

~Static~ (@ Rotten Potatoes and/or Krapsody.com) had this to say:

"I don't know what Hitler has to do with this movie. [...] Some people in India are fascinated with Hitler...and the belief that he had a hand in India's independence from Britain. But I think Gandhi, who considered British imperialism and Nazism to be similar to one another, is rolling over in his grave. While Hitler is probably wondering why he's being jabbed with a pitchfork and is not in the movie."

Since there's only room for one Satan in hell, Hitler is probably too busy jabbing others with a pitchfork to notice this "Hero Hitler in Love" epic pile of crap.

Monday, October 24, 2011

Hero Hitler...in Love?



www.herohitlerinlove.com is probably the most incredible gift to comedy since Isaac Newton invented eating turds. "Bollywood," the "Hollywood" of India, has turned out ingeniously perverse versions of Western film and culture, most notably "Superman and Spidergirl." In India, the "man of steel" can't reverse the rotation of the Earth and thereby turn back time...however, he CAN "sky-dance."

This time India has topped itself, and in doing so, topped the entire concept of perverse and offensive cinema worldwide. "Springtime for Hitler," a satirically offensive song in Mel Brooks' "The Producers," was comedic in that it was meant to be an example of the worst-possible musical ever made. Obviously, he was wrong. I'm afraid my wit is incapable of enhancing the humor of what is clearly the most absurd film ever made.

*The following Synopsis of the film is verbatim and not altered in any way. Seriously.*

"Hero Hitler in love" revolves around Hitler (Babbu Maan) who lives in his village Ishqpura. Hitler is a man with unique and different thoughts who loves his fellow villagers and helps them unite with their soul mates [Cupid-Hitler?]. Hitler falls in love with Sahiban (Mouni Roy) who lives in Pakistan and decides to bring her to his village. Hitler believes in solving the problems by talking about them, but when something crosses the line he decides to become "real Adolf Hitler" [wtf?]. Hitler loves car racing [WTF?] but when he is set up to fail in the Asian car racing competition [???] he decides to take revenge. The story shapes how Hitler takes his revenge and fights to win his girl and reunite both nations...[WTF?!?!?!?!] http://www.herohitlerinlove.com/

Update: OFFICIAL 2012 TRAILER. Also...HITLER FUCKING KNOWS KUNG-FU!


Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Nyan Cat Makes Everything Better





So...Nyan Cat did do it?! We have proof now!!



Brought to you by:
Static
Krapsody - the place to find out of the ordinary humor
the Land of Arse
USA
It's All Krap All The Time
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Wednesday, June 15, 2011

There Goes the Neighborhood...

Photobucket
Just 24-hours after President Obama's Inauguration, 16 homes were put up for sale

     Washington D.C. --- Whilst President Barack Obama is enjoying his first days in the White House, nearby home prices fell by as much as 50 percent. "There goes the neighborh..." said one resident, who stopped mid-sentence when he realized I was holding a microphone. "My best friend is black," said the elderly white gentleman who failed to identify himself. He then abruptly locked himself in his 3456 Pennsylvania Ave. estate while singing the National Anthem (of Canada, for some reason) and using a "White Power" bracelet to conceal his Swastika tattoo. "It's a temporary tattoo...I found it in a box of Cracker-Jacks," he later admitted after I threatened to call fellow black reporter Todd "BLACK-LIGHTNING" Token to the scene. 

   A "Cracker-Jacks" Spokesman known only as "Leeroy" claims that the tattoo did not come from "Cracker-Jacks." Instead, it belongs to its father company "N*****-Jacks," which had first opened during the late 1950's. "It was a different time," said Leeroy, "Being openly racist was the cool thing to do. Then, after that darn Civil Rights movement, we were all forced to be racist in the privacy of our own homes, community centers, discriminatory hiring practices, inflated interest rates, college admittance and, of course, Klan meetings.The nerve! What has happened to this great country?"

As it turns out, racism is a "bad" thing and should not be tolerated. Nor should it be given access to public media,such as this website, to spread their message of hate. Afterwards, I conducted a 30-minute interview with several racist homebuyers and property-value appraisers that was broadcasted, live, throughout the entire country...I'm fired,aren't I? In that case, I am not obligated to finish this story, though I am obligated to say that I am a registered sex offender and cannot not reside within 600 feet of a school, playground or PTA meeting.

Julio's Note: (this has been a re-post of one of my all-time best satire pieces originally written in 2009. Hope you enjoyed!)

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Nothing Smells Quite as Good as Vulva (Courtesy of Krapsody.com)

source: Regretsy






Don't say we've never done anything for you at Project Julio.

~Static

posted from my iPhone at Pussy, 73260 La Léchère, France





Static
Krapsody - the place to find out of the ordinary humor
the Land of Arse
USA
It's All Krap All The Time
funny pics & videos, humor, comedy, satire
Visit Krapsody.com and request a signature like this!



Thursday, April 7, 2011

"Adventure Time" on Cartoon Network is Secretly For Adults



On the outside, this innocent-looking show seems perfect for your average 6-year-old. But a closer look reveals some very disturbing adult-themed material.

However, don't assume this is a bad thing. In fact, such disturbing humor hidden within children's television will actually benefit your child's creativity by exposing them to high-quality humor that they can carry with them into adulthood.

Thank you, Cartoon Network, for helping my son to stop making stupid, awful jokes.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Julio diagnosed with Narcolepsy; Plans include...zzz...


For those of you who don't know (which should be most of you, since I didn't even know this myself), Narcolepsy manifests itself beyond the traditionally-held idea of "falling asleep" in public. "Sleep," in the traditional sense of the word, refers to having one's eyes closed and remaining still. However, during certain stages of sleep, such as "Stage I," a person can actually talk and perform cognitively complex tasks while still being, medically speaking, "asleep." It is just extraordinarily difficult to do said activities. I am such a person/hobo.

Even now as I write this, I am in the mid-way point between wakefulness and sleep. I hear classical music playing, even though there is no radio on. Right now, as I type this sentence, I see a scenario of...of a hobo. He's asking "Lady Gaga" to please stop what she's doing, because she's making all the other hobos look bad. Lady Gaga then says, "Get your hands off me, you damn dirty ape!," to which the hobo replies, "...Dick Cheney?"

I suppose the best analogy to what it's like to be me would be to watch this movie, "Waking Life." Luckily, I have a strong foundation in reality thanks to Emmanuel Kant's philosophical argument against Metaphysics. But for the character in the film, the line between real life and reality is blurred, and he finds himself not able to discern one from the other. I, on the other hand, are well aware of my dreaming state, though I only now realized that what most people call "Day Dreams" are actually "Actual Dreams" for me. Luckily, because audio information is recorded by the subconscious during these dreaming episodes, I have been able to absorb quite efficiently (possibly more efficiently than a normal person would) what is taught in a classroom settings, even within a dream-state.

The drawback? Narcolepsy occurs as a series of "attacks." So while on the one hand I get to enjoy my own imaginary world during class, on the other hand, it is difficult to stay awake to do the required out-of-class studying required for higher-level courses. The only thing that saved my college education was a last-minute prescription of Adderall and a whole lot of luck.

So, that's all for now. I, Julio, bid thee farewell. I cannot foretell when the next satire will overwhelm my consciousness and dream-write the next blog. But I can foretell that pretty soon my son is coming home and is going to expect me to be awake. I only hope I can oblige him, or at the very least, be the best "Ghost Dad" I can...and considering how fucking terrible "Ghost Dad" is as a feature-length film, I can't do any worse than Bill Cosby. And he's rich, bitch.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Al-Gaddafi Pledges Fight to the Last Woman and Child; Men Poised to Surrender

I don't speak Arabic, but I think the banner says: Dear America, all future military targets will be manned by women and children. Good thing we never taught our women and children to read. Otherwise, they be able to read this banner. Lol.

Aloha, America and the West! It is I, President the honorable TOTALLY COOL "and definitely not Hitler" Muammar al-Gaddaffi! I say "Aloha" because I, too, was born in Hawaii, thereby making me a U.S. Citizen. You wouldn't bomb an American now, would you?



Okay, if you don't buy that, then you leave me no choice. I, Muammar al-Gaddaffi, vow to fight to the last woman, child, unborn fetus, futon and/or my priceless porcelain figurine set depicting the profit Muhammad performing goatse in front of the aforementioned demographic.

Fuck you! It could happen.


I'm willing to put blood on the line, just as long as we're clear that the blood we are talking belongs to someone else. Anyone else, actually. Except for men's blood. Because let's face it, ladies, men are just too valuable. Who else is going to suppress the women's literacy movement? Not women, that's for sure! Believe me, we tried that, but all the women did was complain and complain until we tied them to a post and beat them to death with the bodies of their own children. Do we really need to go down this road again?

But I am not a cold, spineless and absolutely cruel human being. In fact, most of you have given up on my humanity a long time ago. In order to prevent more male-oriented bloodshed, I am willing to do anything possible to prevent more male-bloodshed. For instance, instead of having men undertake the dangerous job of manning our tanks, anti-aircraft installations and artillery, we've instead used hemp rope (because we LOVE the environment) to bind women, children and homosexuals to said military installations, thereby saving thousands of (male) lives!

We surrender! Please don't shoot! I made this flag out of my friend's underwear! Why didn't I use my own? Well, after the first round of air-strikes...and well, a "brown flag" doesn't do me any fucking good, now does it?!
But my kindness doesn't stop there. I've also utilized state of the art gluing technology to attach puppies and kittens to the tops of all armored vehicles. Not only does this provide environmentally-friendly insulation, but c'mon, blowing up puppies doesn't win "hearts and minds." But we're not bad people. In an effort to win "hearts and minds" of our own, we've retrofitted a designated number of armored vehicles to serve as ice-cream distribution centers. Call us crazy, but we love our children too much NOT to use them as human shields!

Prototype ice-cream tank
Prototype balloon-tank, code-named "human shield." That isn't really a code-name, is it? 
It's more like, "hey, we're going to use human shields, just-so-you-know. Yeah."
(a photoshopped image of a tank covered with puppies and kittens is supposed to be here also, but because I'm lazy, and because you're a pervert, I instead substitute it with a link to a nude photo of Vanessa Hudgens. Slut!)

In conclusion, do not judge lest ye be judged, and he who is without sin may cast the first stone. Unless we're stoning a woman and/or child, in which case go right on ahead!

In Soviet Libya, stone throws you!
...also, our children make their own death-stones. 






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